a tale i lived to tell: part one

i could tell this tale, but since a picture speaks a thousand words, i will provide several pictures and leave it at that.  

preface: air temp 97 degrees F.  water temp 47 degrees F.  white salmon river.  august 16, 2012.

The art of solo dining.

Now don't take me for an expert, because I'm still relatively new at this adventure I call "going out to eat at a sit down restaurant all by myself".  But, I have gained a few pearls of advice which might make it easier for you, if you are newer at it than I am.  You too, can dine (and hey, have a drink while you're at it) alone.  Here's how:

1. Gather your confidence.  Heck, throw on your high heels before leaving the house if you want. 

2. Approach hostess with said confidence and a smile, tell her (or him) "its just me".

3. Make no apologies.  "Its just you" because you are your very best company, so duh, who else would you rather have a meal with?  ....maybe your best friend sister boyfriend mom dad and grandma, but the hostess doesn't have to know that.

4. If there's a wait (and you don't feel like waiting because you're hungry) look for a seat at the bar.  If they're serving food, this is great for a couple reasons.  One, you don't have to look across an empty table stuck in the middle of the dining room feeling like all eyes are on you and two, there's usually one random open seat at any given bar and then you don't have to wait anymore.  Oh yeah, you own this place.

5.  Remember, no one cares.  If you feel like people are looking at you and casting judgement, get over yourself.  They're all too busy enjoying their meals and conversations to notice one little person sitting over there.  If they do notice you sitting all by your little lonesome, they're probably thinking, "hey, look at that confident and mysterious person over there!  I wish I had the guts to go out to eat alone". 

6.  Bring a book.  Read it in between sips of that drink you ordered, tuck the crease under your plate to keep the page down so you can have two hands to handle your knife and fork.  That book, or newspaper or magazine, is your best friend.  Didn't your elementary school teachers always tell you books were your friends?  These lessons pay off people!!!  

7.  Put your phone down.  Don't call, don't incessantly text, don't peruse Facebook for longer than 15 seconds.  I'm no Miss Manners, but cell phones and restaurants just don't mix in my book.  

8.  Keep yourself to a one-drink maximum.  If you can't, maybe check yourself into the next local AA meeting.  Go home and polish off that half-bottle of wine you have left, but keep your solo drinking out of public.  

9.  When your bill comes, unless your waiter did a really truly terrible job, leave him a nice tip.  Unless you sat at the bar, you took up one table that could have handled more than one person, and thus a bigger bill and thus a bigger tip to help him pay his way through college.  Or something.  I don't know, take this or leave this one, but I believe its nice to be considerate of those who serve you.  

10.  Close that book, grab your bag (don't forget your debit card in the bill-fold after you've signed your receipt), and go!  Ta-da!  You did it!  Woohoo!  It only gets easier.  

faq's

most people i talk to about this whole thing i'm doing- traveling around, working and living different places several months at a time, for a year or two- ask the same thing.  are you married? are you traveling with anybody?  you're brave. what do your parents think of you doing this?
well, to answer those things in a nutshell.  nope.  not married.  i kinda always thought that at this point in life i'd have either: a dog, a husband, or a million dollars.  since i have none of those things, i'm pretty much free to do as i please. . . a million dollars would just be bad for that habit anyway.  thank goodness for that freedom!  i'm not traveling with anyone at this point.  and my parents are my biggest encouragers.
with those things said, i can't imagine a better fit for myself.  i've been taking leaps of faith, which have turned out better than i could have ever hoped, imagined or prayed for, for years.  going on my big mexican christmas mission trips in high school, i left for the sake of adventure, to fulfill a natural desire to help those in need.  i ended up making some lifelong friends and growing more from those experiences than i ever thought possible for one person to grow.  i mean, what kind of 16 year old girl says "adios" to her family and all of her friends and gives up presents in exchange for a bus trip to a garbage dump in juarez mexico?  me, i guess.  and i loved it so much, that still just thinking about the random adventure of it makes me giddy.  going to school in chicago, opened my eyes to a bigger world than the small town which nurtured me into a pretty solid-living human being.  my giant move to dc.  holy cow.  i hate to toot my own little horn here, but i was pretty brave at a pretty trying time in my life to make a permanent move somewhere where i knew nobody, and really hadn't thought once about ever living, in order to get a really big and really stressful job done.  ugh, stressful is not even close to strong enough of a word to describe that task.  don't get me started on how incredibly heaven-sent that whole venture was, we'll save that for a rainy day.
i guess my point is, this whole traveling around, working and living different places for a year or two thing just makes sense.  it combines too much of who i am not to make sense.  and i am really, really excited for a couple years down the road, when i'm able to look back and add this to my list of leaps of faith that turned out better than i could have ever hoped.

cheers!  

Chambers Bay

I found a place that combines a few things on my seriously long list of favorites: golf, shoreline, big outdoorsy spaces and getting a little sweaty.  Cha-ching! Chambers Bay Golf Course is surrounded by Chambers Creek park and there's a really fun 3 mile multi-use paved trail that winds around and through the course.  It runs along the water, through the tees/greens/fairways and then up a bluff overlooking the whole area.  It is a truly gorgeous place for a run, bike or walk.  Islands with ferries running to and from, a shadow outline of the Olympic mountains on a hazy sunset day, views of the Tacoma narrows bridge.  Also a truly gorgeous place to play a round of golf.  I think the super sunset rate might be closest to my budget (though still a bit of a splurge). . . I'll just have to make big use of that unlimited practice facility first so I can remember how to hit 'em straight.  

ps. you're looking at the home of the 2015 US Open.

Sunday

The weekend was gorgeous.  I parked myself on the shore of Lake Quinault in Olympic National Forest with my feet in the water and my book.  Swam out to that little floating dock whenever I got too warm.  A perfect day.   

Thursday Rewind: Vegas

In case anyone is interested, I've been super busy the past few months.  And now it seems veeerrrryyyy strange to be settling in somewhere, know very few people and have tons and tons of time to myself with very little on the agenda.  Today I hiked myself to a coffee shop in downtown Olympia.  By hiked I mean, drove in my car.  Someone is playing a bongo drum on the sidewalk.  Also the air conditioning is BLASTING and its 65 degrees outside.  And thats about it.  Its Thursday, my favorite day of the week.  I previously said I was going on a bike adventure today, but the weather couldn't decide what it wanted to do...freeze, rain, or sun....until about 1pm and by then it was too late to trek to the island I had in mind and be back for trivia with friends tonight.  So I gave the outing a rain date: to be decided.  Since I have all this lovely time on my hands, I think I'll recap a few exciting things from the past little while.  

I think the whirlwind started in March, when I spent a weekend in Vegas.  And thats all I can say because, you know, what happens in Vegas. . . I WILL say I found it to be a very sparkly place and that I felt a little bit like a rockstar while there, and a little bit like a hungover rockstar on the plane ride home.  I'll also say that my views of reality were so quickly skewed, that I felt confused on my layover in Denver as to why no one was carrying beers and drinking margaritas out of 3 foot tall neon cups with swirly straws on the moving sidewalks in the airport.  

Cheers to Thursday!

adventures in homesickness

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't homesick.  I've been pretty desperate for something familiar lately.  I kinda unknowingly began making a mental list of ways to knock out homesickness.  It goes as follows:

I've found one of the best strategies is to do something that makes you really, really happy every time no matter what.  Like, you've never NOT been totally in love with doing this thing.  For me, its going to the beach.  So I've been trying to take myself there as much as possible.  Going to the beach here is different because I've noticed not a lot of people actually wear their bathing suits or bring their frisbees. Usually they're bringing their dogs or their kids to play in the water.  I don't mind because I love soaking up the sun and watching both... mostly the dogs.  Its also pretty cool to have a view of mountains in the distance and watch the harbor seals pop up out of the water every so often.

Another strategy is to find something to really appreciate about your new home.  Lets be honest, it doesn't take much for me to fall in love with a place.  Usually just a couple of boats lined up on a dock and a cute place to dine outdoors will do it.  The other day I went down to the Olympia Farmers Market.  Its set up in a big covered barn (since it rains A LOT here), along the waterfront.  If I ran out of produce to admire, there were bakers and fishers and sausage makers and musicians playing some really great folk music.  After picking up probably more fresh fruits and veggies than I can consume in one week, I took myself on a jog along the boardwalk and around Capitol Lake.  I don't know when I'll get over the fact that there are jellyfish in the water here.  Probably never.  

One more thing I've come up with to get rid of homesickness, is to always have something to look forward to.  Whether its a neat place you heard about and plan to explore next Thursday (Vashon Island with my bike), or a little get together with new friends (Mexican Mojito Monday+Thai night Thursday), or your next trip home (August 31).  ALWAYS have something in the back of your mind that you can call on when you're feeling like the loneliest thing in the world.  

And, when all else fails.  Call your Mom.  

xo